Last Year Before Career

As I came into my last year at CBU, I was not excited. For awhile I couldn’t explain why, usually I was always happy about going back to college seeing my friends everyday, even excited about classes, but for some reason this wasn’t one of those years. I took summer school for two months this year so at first I thought I didn’t have enough time off. My senior capstone was coming up, definitely only stress to look forward to in that direction, but that just wasn’t it. Usually my summers aren’t too great. I miss my friends too much, I hate the heat, and it seems like work, work, work! So I thought maybe this feeling is because this summer I actually enjoyed myself a lot. It definitely was a factor but not something to cause this bad feeling towards my college. Starting to think why I felt this way I started having doubts about whether I chose the right major, which one should I get my masters in (the few prospects of a double major), where should I apply for my masters,… my head went spinning like Alice in Wonderland’s wild tea cup ride at Disneyland. Somewhere after I regained my balance after the tea cup ride in my head I starting to see the opposed feeling towards my once loved college. My result: I was giving CBU the cold shoulder for forcing me to leave it.



Now yes I could get my masters at CBU, though the more I look at my options CBU is seeming more and more unlikely from going 90% to 40% chance of me being there next year. It’s not because CBU’s masters program of my choice is anything but satisfactory, trust me CBU’s masters programs are exceptionally something to be proud of if you are a professor, graduate student, or a lucky degree holder. Like I said, there’s still that 40% chance that if you go to CBU you might see me walking around lugging huge literature books around. However, I’m choosing to broaden my horizons, quite literarily. I’ve been looking at options of doing my masters degree overseas, more specifically the country of England. To explain why in short is because I am choosing to get masters in Literature, more specifically British literature and going to school in England experience wise would be great for my career in teaching about a country I would be living in for awhile. It is definitely something to be excited about, if I am given the chance. So I guess this begs the question why this bad feeling. I guess as I look around at my beloved college of three years now I realize how sad it will be to leave, not just my friends (practically now my family), the classes, the professors, or even the beautiful California landscape but what is known as the “CBU Bubble.” Emerging from the CBU bubble of being surrounded by Christians growing with each other in our faith is something I will truly miss. My whole life I went to public schools so when I first attended CBU it was something new to me, and I loved it. Hanging out with people who had the same goals as you, just wanting to hang out in the apartments instead of going to some ragger waking up in Las Vegas with a tiger in your hotel room (who knows that could happen to CBU students). I’ll even miss the chapels, I got to hear and meet some pretty cool speakers. I guess I had the the bad feeling of being scared of what it will be like once out of the “bubble,” but as I look at my past years at CBU I realize now how far I have come, how far I still have to go, and how I will be just fine outside of my much loved college. I came to CBU calling myself a Christian but really wasn’t one, now I can call myself a Christian and know I am devoted to the Lord and ready for the challenges I’ll face with Him ahead. I know that it will be hard surrounded by people who don’t all have the same believes, especially people who will be against me but I know now how much CBU has prepared me for this outside world and I know that as long as I have Him there is nothing to fear in the world, wherever I am.